Friends are important. They carry much of our past, our memories, and shared experiences. During tough times and good times, they were with us. So it is but natural to offer support when someone who is near and dear to us is dying. Here are some ways we can support a dying friend and make our friend’s final days meaningful.
- Be present.
Your presence is perhaps the greatest demonstration of your love for your dying friend. Visiting your friend at the hospital or at home shows your support when he or she needs it most.
As your friend nears the final days of life, there are many ways to spend time together:
- sit with them without talking
- read a book
- sing a song
- share some special memory
- tell them that you love them
Your presence shows to your friend that you are willing to be with him or her in this difficult time. But also remember to respect your friend’s need for alone time and give your friend time alone when he or she needs it.
- Be a good listener.
A dying person may want to discuss their impending death or may entirely avoid talking about it. Allow your friend to talk about their illness and their grief at their initiative. Be a safe harbor for your friend to share his or her thoughts and feelings. Give them space and time to sort out his or her thoughts and feelings. Listening to your friend without judgment can help your friend cope during this difficult time.
- Be knowledgeable of your friend’s Illness.
Learning about your friends illness will make you better equipped to help your friend. If you know about the illness and its probable course, you will understand your friend’s “language” and you are better prepared as your friend goes through the stages of his or her illness.
- Be compassionate.
Give your friend the opportunity to express his or her feelings about the illness without fear of criticism or judgment. Avoid saying words that are not constructive. Even kind and supportive words can be construed as hurtful like “I know just how you feel.” The thing is, you don’t. Simply reminding them how loved they are is enough.
- Be of help.
Even with your friends’ family is around, there are still many ways you can be of help to your dying friend in his or her daily activities. Some practical ways of showing you care are preparing food, cleaning the house, or driving your friend to and from the hospital for treatment. But make sure you talk to the family members first so as to avoid any miscommunication.
Your dying friend is going through a lot of emotions during the final days. There may be fear, anger, and sadness. Showing your friend your love and support is very important at this point. Your friend needs your friendship, your presence as he or she journeys toward death.
Sources:
Hospice Basics. “6 Ways to Support a Dying Friend in Their Final Days.” Accessed February 26, 2023.
https://www.hospicebasics.org/6-ways-support-dying-friend-final-days/.
Hospice Foundation. “Helping a Friend Who Is Dying.” Accessed February 26, 2023.
Cancer Council. “Facing End of Life.” Accessed February 26, 2023.